Notes to myself..

1. All the good ones are taken, cling to whatever you have!
2. Ignorance is bliss – try not to find out, not to know and lie down lazy
3. Beware of spontaneous human combustion
4. Stop incentivizing yourself for all the small things you accomplish
5. Follow your month-long time table for at least a day
6. Watching Seinfeld 8 times a day will not get you anywhere, Also in the end you will have no episodes left! Looks like it’s a road to perdition Think and stop right now..
7. You are a MSc chemie + 7 pointer and not Mark Shuttleworth
8. Mouli is still to treat you.
9. Get the tubelight fixed and hence create a mentally stimulating environment
10. Ask yourself, is it Tuesday yet? If no, find when is it coming? After Monday? If yes, do what you were supposed to do, do what everyone does on Tuesdays!
11. Dude, above all you should stop blogging and prepare for placements, else you will blog your entire life…Stop this here at once and get back to important things.

MH03-AA-1447

This is one interesting encounter with a rickshaw-waala(henceforth mentioned as RW). It’s long so read at peace, it is long but nice!

Near vikhroli station: Like always no rickshaw agreed for a ride to IITB. It was almost 15 minutes and I was tired of stopping them and seeing their face turn into some weird shape and without even uttering a word keep moving as if I was asking for a free ride. Then from nowhere a rickshaw arrives and he agrees. I was delighted, relaxed and titillated. Moments after settling in, I asked him -

ZM: Aap iit ke andar tak chaloge naa?
RW: IIT??!! (confused) mujhe lagaa yahan vikhroli mein kahin!
ZM: (WTF!)
RW: mera kya. ek aur bhaada mil gaya hai, chal lete hai warna mujhe yeh saamaan kahin pahoochaana tha, lekin ab yahaan rakhna pad raha hai.. khair abhi 8 hee bajey hai, baad mein chala jaaunga
ZM: (normal human courtesy dikhaate hue) arey toh saamaan yahaan peeche rakh do, koi dikkat nahi..
RW: nahi nahi – yeh bahut zaroori hai! koie leke chala gaya toh – maa ke haath ka khaana hai – UP se aaya hai – kandivli jaake laana padaa – Kandivli tak jaana pada 250 types ka bhaada laga aur aate waqt ek ko kam paiso mein vikhroli lete aaya – kya karoon jaana toh tha hee – maa ke haath khaana jo hai – ab jo yahaan milta hai woh wahaan nahi milta and jo wahaan milta hai woh yahaan kabhi nahi mil sakta..!!
ZM: haan itna toh banta hai (Initially, I was like why is he talking to me…I never asked him anything but then the heaviness and sincerity with which he said made a difference. It got me into thinking! Taking a right turn heading towards HN. There I had it, the road was filled with insane numbers, there I was all-alone, amidst the traffic or not?! Somewhere, I knew this journey wont be boring :p
RW: I prefer staying behind a BEST bus in such a traffic – it’s spacious you see :p
ZW: hmmm…
(He said some more things about day-to-day traffic, blah blah..)
(By now, I was sure that this RW was a loquacious guy with an opinion on almost all things around, mostly logical!)

[I had nothing to say or do so casually peeped out and I saw 2 girls 1 boy (:p) seated in the adjacent rick, one of the two was talking on phone and the other two I think was the couple(yes it is not what you are thinking :p). The two started making out mildly :p and I accidentally saw them, not like i wanted to see what was going. It was stupidly weird. Realising I saw them, they started staring at me and hugged each other, still looking at me. I immediately shifted to the other side of the rick and said...]

ZM: yaar yeh rickshaw waaleaate kyun nahi IIT – bhaada toh milta hai traffic hua toh bhi (just to forget what just happened)
RW: Arey mazaa nahi aata yaar chalaane mein–lagta hai galaa ghot ke chala rahey hai, gaadi ki ********* jaati hai — haath dard karne lag jaate hai and stuff (He kept on blabbering).
(Then he said something I will never forget–)
RW: Apne haath hee dekh lo, kitne tight banaye hai -
ZM: kya??
RW: arey apne haath, fir aankh lelo, peecha ka ang lelo, naak, kaan, dimaag – sab tight rehta hai….infact kamar ke neeche ka bhi dekh lo sab tight rehta hai (I was not sure, where he was going and what he wanted to say!!!) Kuch bhi lelo, sab tight banaya hai – bas yeh kamar ke upar ka 6×6 inch ka area loose banaya hai uparwaale ne. Yeh tight karte karte zindagi bitaa dete hai hum. Subah tight karo – shaam ko fir loose and shaam ko tight karo, subah fir loose – chalte rehta hai and ek din hum mar jaate hai wahin jo loose pet leke aaye the wahin leke chale jaate hai baaki sab yahin reh jaata hai!

ZM: (Arrived at the IIT main gate, I said…) “Student”
RW: kya bola aapne?
ZM: “student”
RW: accha “student” bolo toh kisi ko bhi andar aane de dete hai kya?
ZM: haan aisa hee samjho..(mild laughter)
RW: aapko yahaan admission kaise mila? merit list mein aaye honge!
ZM: nahi ek entrance exam hota hai, usme select hoke (and stuff..!)
RW: toh job toh lag hee jaati hogi??
ZM: nahi aaj kal market down hai thoda…(and uttered something disinterestedly)
RW: (Then he saw a girl and suddenly interrupted me) yahaan bhi reservation hota hai?
ZM: nahi nahi, hota hai lekin ladkiyon ke liye nahi hota (kaash hota :p)
RW: aapki shaadi ho gayi kya?
ZM: arey nahi yaar…abhi toh padh raha hoon..abhi kahaan.

I reached Hostel 3 gate. The meter read 50Rs. which was slightly higher than the normal but that was because of the traffic mainly but overall I was glad and refreshed by this discussion. I thought I will definitely blog about this guy.

So I ran back after entering the hostel to maybe ask him his name for the title of this post, but the rick had left and all i could see was MH03-AA-1447. So be it.

yeah :P

We chat online a lot everyday and while doing so we sometimes come across some new words, phrases or analogies we are unaware of(say from a movie you haven’t seen or something like that) etc. We don’t quite know what the other person is trying to convey! But suppose the other person is someone whom you cannot ask for explanation for whatever reasons — self pride and reputation mainly being the reasons — you try to sometimes google or ask some other friend or just try to skip that part. Sometimes the other person(is so smart) actually finds out you have no clue and there you go! Back to square one with less reputation, permanently.

Now here’s a simple way out. Just say – “yeah ” in such cases.

Case 1: Suppose the other person said something which actually meant – “Go, remove your clothes and run naked in your hostel”. As you have no clue as to what the other person just said – you just reply back – yeah Now in this case, definitely he will take it you got it and you are trying to be sarcastic or funny by agreeing to it.

Case 2: Suppose the other person is a girl your are checking out and what she said meant – “Lets make out!” Well now as you are completely dumb and you didn’t get what she meant, you might be losing an opportunity or worse losing her(yeah because she thinks you are dumb) forever. Well, the wise thing to do here is to utter those 6 characters yeah Also depending on the mood of conversation(hope you know what’s going on else gimme her number and you sit back and read my blog) use the correct smiley…Maybe if the discussion going on is not so funny use instead of

It is very crucial here to understand the role smileys play, specially “:P” – it adds a negative effect to yes and you mean both “yes” and “no” at the same time, giving the handle back to the other person who involuntarily makes a choice for you.

PS: Whoever you are, whatever you do, Please don’t try this offline
PS2: Yes, I have used this myself some times.
PS3: Well if you are really curious as to what the other person meant, go ahead be honest, ask what it means and never read my blog again..

X and 0

X = yes
0 = no!

[X] got high
[X] been called sexy
[0] stole money
[X] slept beside a boy
[0] had sex
[0] been in a relationship for more than 8 months
[0] taken a topless picture in the mirror
[0] made out with a member of the same sex
[0] stolen a car
[X] skipped school
[0] slept with a co-worker
[0] slept with more than 15 people
[X] been called a slut bitch or hoe
[0] had a one night stand
[X] seen a dead person
[0] shoplifted
[0] been fired
[X] gotten the chicken pox
[X] been in a fist fight
[X] snuck out of your parent’s house
[X] had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back
[0] been arrested
[0] gone on a blind date
[X] had a crush on a teacher
[0] been to U.S.A
[0] been to Mexico
[0] thrown up in a bar
[0] purposely set a part of yourself on fire
[0] been snowboarding
[0] went to a concert
[0] gone to a therapist
[0] taken sleeping pills
[X] laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
[X] been obsessed with post-it notes
[X] squished barefoot through the mud
[X] been lost
[0] hitch hiked
[0] been to the opposite side of the country
[0] swam in the ocean
[X] felt like dying
[X] cried yourself to sleep
[0] hacked into someones msn
[X] played cops and robbers
[0] recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
[0] paid for a meal with only coins
[X] done something you told yourself you wouldn’t do
[X] made prank phone calls
[0] laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
[0] caught a snowflake on your tongue
[X] danced in the rain
[X] done something to see how people react
[0] written a letter to Santa Claus
[0] been kissed under a mistletoe
[0] watched the sun rise with someone you care about
[X] blown bubbles
[0] made a bonfire on the beach
[X] been to a party
[X] gone roller skating
[X] had a wish come true
[0] humped a monkey
[0] worn pearls
[0] jumped off a bridge
[0] screamed “penis” in public
[X] ate dog/cat food
[0] told a complete stranger you love them
[0] kissed a mirror
[X] sang in the shower
[X] had a dream that you married someone
[0] glued your hand to something
[0] got your tongue stuck to a flag pole in winter
[0] kissed a frog
[0] worn the opposite sexes clothes
[0] been a cheerleader
[X] sat on a roof top
[X] screamed at the top of your lungs
[X] done a one-handed cartwheel
[0] talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
[X] stayed up all night
[0] picked and ate an apple
[X] climbed a tree
[0] had a tree house
[X] been scared to watch scary movies alone
[X] believed in ghosts
[0] have more then 30 pairs of shoes
[0] worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
[0] gone streaking
[X] played knock-knock-ginger
[X] been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
[0] been told you’re hot by a complete stranger
[0] broken a bone
[0] caught a fish then ate it (after it was cooked, lmao.)
[0] caught a butterfly
[X] laughed so hard you cried
[X] cried so hard you laughed
[0] flashed someone
[0] had someone moon/flash you
[X] cheated on a test
[0] had a Britney Spears CD
[X] forgotten someone’s name
[X] slept naked
[X] kicked a guy where it hurts
[X] gotten lost in your city
[0] gone out in public in your pajamas
[0] pushed all the buttons on an elevator
[0] cheated on someone
[0] have a boyfriend right now

PS: I am a pretty lame personality

Freedom

When someone commits a crime(official one), he is undoubtedly incarcerated. Why imprisonment? I mean there could be “n” number of other things that could be done. But since the ancient times, the Romans, the Greeks, the Hebrews, the Persians, the Egyptians, etc. most civilizations believed in physical involuntary confinement. Over the years, this basic ground idea of punishment hasn’t quite changed except for the rules guiding them.

People discovered it long ago, that freedom is one thing everyone craves for and if that be taken away, there is nothing left but misery. Prison constraints physical movement which will definitely stop many more movements, your thinking will shrink, your outlook will shrink, you will be unaware of too much, etc. There are many ways in which ones freedom is destroyed, prison being the blatant choice(for me).

On the other hand one has to work for fixed hours per day, do regular stuff, cook food, attend lectures, complete excel sheets, etc. What if any of these is against your will? At this very point of time, I would want to get out and go away for a month do things according to my whims and fancies, but I cannot(I would rather some day down the line). Don’t you think this is imprisonment but milder? Well, when there is this person who has the freedom to do what he wants, what if he chooses to do nothing to chooses to disregard freedom?

todo list!

A glimpse from amongst the thousands of things, randomly chosen using the Mersenne Twister random number generator algorithm. Phew!

1. Win two nobel prizes in economics back-to-back
2. Dominate Earth
3. Have banana milkshake
4. Watch a movie alone in a theater
5. Visit Las Vegas and participate in WSOP
6. Learn tennis and win against Federer fans
7. Make 160 palladins in 40 minutes…Contact me for the recorded game
8. Go on a date with a not-so-good-looking-ugly-intellectual-blabbermouth girl and actually listen to what she’s saying while dining(if dining or doing whatever)
9. Compose a song
10. Create the Indian south park
11. Get a job
12. Have a bath
13. Climb up a coconut tree
14. Get interviewed by any non-DNA newspaper
15. Direct and write a movie and atleast get nominated for the oscars
16. Have Thai food
17. Steal speakers from room no. 238
18. Be a billionaire
19. Learn driving
20. Sue Zubin Mehta for name infringement
21. Become spiderman(yeah all the batman fans, its easier to be a batman but difficult to find the correct radioactive spider…i like challenges)
22. Have a team of around 50 and go beg at the marine drive and have burgers with the money you earned there…..huh…who are all in??
23. Read Maximum city
24. Profess a self-made religion(will most likely be named Tuzuism)
25. Go bird-watching in the woods
26. Go bird-watching to Chandigarh
27. Build a device for assisting reading at night!(It will be a stand kind of a thing with book holder and a small bulb with adjustable distance and many more facilities worth your money Launching soon..
28. Hack into the iitb asc system and change my grades
29. Get a job!….ohh God, is it so seriously up there in my brains..
30. Buy new Jeans
31. Tell 5 girls, i “love” them
32. Decide which one’s better, South park or Big bang theory
33. Be an otologist, paleo-anthropologist, pharyngologist and lastly an eschatologist
34. Laugh at some unknown person for no reason
35. Eradicate mosquitos
36. Spell “mosquitoes” correctly
37. Write a blog post on 17th May 2009

yahaan ke hum sikander..

the incorrect publicity, the sine wave, the adorable pebble, the return of the king, the good end – beginning of it all, the hoping ant, the fear of something, the obscure tribulation, the day dreamer, the late realization, the confused dissembler, the selfish humans, the city of gold, the deep desire, the closed book, the concerned siblings, the excessive emotions, the lovable rogue, the consecutive loss, the white font group, the hardcore analysis, the anticipated squander, the optimistic investment, the new venture, the truth seeker, the curious need, the reprehensible comprehension, the return to innocence, the lonely wanderer, the thirsty ideas, the logic behind, the fortune teller, the unexpected words, the energy barrier, the accomplished dream, the optimistic pessimist, the marvelous creativity, the winning amateurs, the clean connect, the jealous lover, the stupid misunderstandings, the smiling perfectionist, the avid helper, the sincere past, the fanatic group, the blurred destiny, the speaking eyes, the hard worker, the fixed paragraph, the unconventional wisdom, the logical superstitions, the prime numbers, the serious urge, the sincere request.

yahaan ke hum sikander…

Taking modulus of your emotions!

I came across this thought, as to how different the world would be if all we felt was the modulus of our feelings(Thanks to Goyal). Suppose you are a mediocre in some field. Well getting back to Goyal, some days back he received a FR(fail and repeat) grade in some course and obviously its a matter of depression for most sane people and the ones who don’t give reasons. Some days later, he gets AA in a project which was not at all expected and we had a good laugh.

Both incidents were equally intense on the emotion scale but with opposite signs(though we remain sad more than happy…come on we are less satisfied…we the modern era people…we want too much..) So what if whatever the feeling be we just feel the modulus of it. We always feel happy whatever the situation be! Hence will we love to super sad or have really bad blows, have rejections? Will there be people who would want to stay near zero or you doubt such people will exist? I mean people either want to be very happy and satisfied as we are now but things are weird and good on the sad side too…! Will people want to be sad?

Will the discontinuity at zero matter?

PS: I could have complicated the theory by taking it to n-dimensions rather than just talking about the Argand plane as here!

47

Since past few days, there is something abnormal going on around with me. Well since past 2 – 3 weeks I am seeing 47 everywhere. Initially I thought it was just some random thing happening but now its just too much. Well, initially whenever I looked at the time it was either 12:47, 2:47, 3:47, 6:47….whatever..but only 47! I thought it was just my mind which always wanted to see the time at the 47th minute of the hour. But it wasn’t only the time…the number and variety of incidents increased. I happened to go to Juhu for some TF job treat and on the way I saw two cars back to back with numbers 4575 and 4676. Now it might sound a bit too much but yes …its 47 everywhere.. :0

Then one day I told these incidents to Ramdas and on listening he said he was AIR 47…huh..My room number 247. I was at home and went down for a bit to buy some stuff and a BEST bus passes no 247. I posted something on facebook and it said posted at 6:47pm and many more such incidents within the last two weeks. I called up a friend and the call lasted for 1:47. Some one opens up some convocation pdf on my compu and it says 47th convocation(will post more of these – not in a mood right now).

z=26 , u=21 –> z + u =47
I randomly see out of the auto after waking up randomly because of the bad roads and there i see a number plate and it read 47**
Today(23rd May, 2009) while chatting with a school friend was reminded of the fact that my 10th standard roll number was 47.
My jee rank = 3125 –> 3+1=4 and 2+5=7 Fucking 47 again!

It feels as if there is some force trying to tell me something, asking me to solve this puzzle this mystery and I do not know what it will lead to but only clue I have is the number 47! But what could 47 possibly denote if it is to speak about something. 47 days remaining in my life? or will i die at 47 years of age! Something 47 days hence or some date’s numbers add up to something and that will be the end of this world and like I can do something about it? I mean for God’s sake initially i was finding it fascinating but now enough of it lately…phew!! SOS!

Top 11 Aamir Khan movies!

Pure awesomeness! I generally am not a big movie freak but when it comes to discussion I have my small list. Anyways, thinking of some of the best movies I have seen, most are of AK. The list:

11. Mann (1999)
10. Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak (1988)
9. Hum Hain Rahi Pyar Ke (1993)
8. Sarfarosh (1999)
7. Lagaan: Once Upon a Time in India (2001)
6. Taare Zameen Par (2007)
5. Dil Hai Ki Manta Nahin (1991) – awesome character
4. Rang De Basanti (2006)
3. Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikandar (1992)
2. Dil Chahta Hai (2001)
1. Andaz Apna Apna (1994) – unparalleled

There was a small edit in the list. I watched Sarfarosh and some others again and realized what people commented in here. Sarfarosh was hence moved to 8th position.

Simply great movies. Some the initial ones are undoubtedly well placed. Your views might differ with the middle order. I would love your comments! :