I have changed. Everyone changes, with surroundings, with experience, with knowledge, with learning. Change is the art of life. Change is pretty much what we talk about every now and then. Remember the last joke you laughed on and fell down from your bed, remember the last “news” – all these are nothing but changes that are more intensified than others and hence worth discussing about. These often bring out an emotion in you, you laugh, you cry, you whistle, things keep changing, they just keep changing and changing.
But the other type of change I am talking about is the one which follows the concept of microscopic reversibility. These changes are a result of linear combination of all the smaller changes. These small changes are reversible and infinitesimally small as in the case of reversible isothermal expansion resulting in maximum work. These changes occur really slowly, without you knowing that you are the part of this reaction. Obviously, this is a very long process and at the end of say a month or 2 years or 5 years or more, whenever you start visualising that change, you search for older things. It is difficult to move but time does it for us.
It is like you are on an escalator in a mall. You are talking to a friend. After sometime you are down or up! You keep talking and then you realise you reach where you had to. Now consider the case when the escalator stops in the midway due to some electricity failure. At this point you realise you will have to walk your way up and you might momentarily stop talking. Bad you have to walk up! At this point, nature tried to tell you what had changed before the desired or “planned” process ended or maybe this was the “planned” process, whatever the case. You realise you were in the reaction mixture unconsciously. You never stop to make a decision like getting on an escalator which is obvious and your mind never asks you to. Its only after some considerable changes, that you figure out and try to act on it or regret your earlier decisions. There are infinite variables around you and me changing at infinitesimally small rates under certain laws and constraints set by time.
We are always in this big reaction mixture and a part of many reactions at the same time. You can apply all the laws and chemistry you have ever learned and complicate the model. Basically like chemistry is so vast with n possibilities, life too is, infact much more as life contains chemistry :)
Similarly, I see myself as this new zubin. I have changed by this model. I can neither laugh at it, nor cry. I can neither smile at it, nor abstain from acting on it. But still all I can do is stand and stare!
PS: My chemistry might not make sense to better chemists as well as to people without chemistry background, doesn’t matter! You will know what I mean :)